In the history of this blog i have done only two reviews on Agent Provocateur and i wouldn't advise you to go and look them up. It's not that i don't love AP or that i don't own many pieces. My AP collection exceeds my Mimi Holliday collection in size, it contains my most beloved lingerie and is the collection i am the most proud of. If you ask me at any given time what my dream set is, it'll be from AP. But i'm partial to their AW collections and my dream set gets updated every year, i even have some of their AW13 campaign framed on my wall. However, i just don't particularly want to review any of my collection on oflambsandlace, why?
For anyone who is well versed in buying and owning AP, the construction does not justify the price. Does there exist a single AP set with a bow embellishment that isn't sewn on about 50,000 miles from the centre? And is there any way to comment positively about the fit continuity without it being a bold faced lie? The size availability is appalling and you take your life into your own hands if you consider buying anything with a lot of strap/harness detailing. You could wait 30 hours for your lingerie to arrive or you could wait 3 weeks, there's really no telling and sending it back? Well you could fit their size 1 in multiple sets but you won't fit it in all.
I own waspies that curl up at the edges, knickers that give me terrible quadrabutt, bras that don't fit and are up for sale, bras that i've had to take a pair of scissors to and remove parts, bras that need to be tailored, bikini bottoms that will never meet their companion top because it doesn't come anywhere near my size, bras that do come in my size but fit weirdly, bras that will never make it out of the bedroom, suspender belts that are slightly too big for my waist AND i've had to send back countless items because they were too big, too small and most importantly, constructed so poorly you'd have to have an exact body shape in an exact size to fit.
But then i also own bras that i wear 3 to 4 times a week and full sets that make me feel elated when i wear them. And so for some reason, i overlook any niggles (some of which aren't particularly minor) and i'm always excited about AP.
Agent Provocateur is younger than i am and yet for a lot of us, it is the ultimate in luxury lingerie. Well established luxury lingerie brands have been completely leap frogged by AP and somewhere along the line i've been peddled a lifestyle which i've totally bought in to, with no intentions of changing my mind. And c'mon, i know i'm not the only one. I knew about AP before i knew about any lingerie, when i was young enough to fantasise about being an adult with a sizeable collection and a man fancy enough to match (still working on both). My first major lingerie purchase was my AP Maschina set (and whilst it doesn't fit, i just can't part with it yet) and when i work extra hard in a month, i browse AP before any other lingerie to spend my disposable income on.
So here's my ode to AP; you have me hooked but this blog is no place for you. You're not a brand for the smallest busts, you're not a brand for reliability or quality and you're not a brand for a low budget (sale or no sale) but you are exciting, fun and you consistently put out unique designs that deliver a good feeling. Whilst this blog is a personal folly, i do try to keep it from becoming truly self indulgent. So if you're ever in need of a review of a set that you know i own, then it'd be best to get in touch. Because this will be my last blog post about AP (unless something ridiculous happens) but not my last tweet or instagram.
Let me know your relationship with Agent Provocateur in the comments. Love or Hate or both at the same time? A pipe dream, a beloved collection or too cliche?