I've been writing this post in my head for a while (and actually drafted it up early June) but it's been difficult to put down in writing for two reasons. One is the puppy who like a time traveler from a more simplistic era cannot fathom why the universe, as her plaything, will not let her access the people and movements held within my laptop screen and there is much whining and pawing in my household as she learns the hard way that The Simpsons aren't sentient beings and she cannot chew them and my typing is not an invitation for her to join in. And the second and a lot more relevant reason is that i've spent 3.5 years carving out my place, my niche in the blogging world and gained a caring, intelligent readership who are undoubtedly the hardest people to fess up to needing some time away from what connects me to them.
My collection is amazing, it is exciting and it is not crying out for new additions. I would not call it complete but it is certainly not lacking in any way and I haven't bought any lingerie since early May, I haven't properly browsed for any new lingerie for even longer and you could say I was wholly disinterested in any of the summer sales. I've lost that buzz, the thrill that buying new lingerie used to give me, a feeling that kept me adding to my collection and planning the destination of the bulk of my paycheques months in advance. I'm not completely 'over' lingerie but there's an obsession that is no longer with me. I guess i'm less greedy than I thought as I don't want an ever growing collection of lingerie taking up my space and my finances, i'm happy with what I have right now. I'm content in how my collection has grown and what it contains. I can't in good conscience keep peddling reviews for lingerie when i'd rather spend my own money elsewhere.
I'm also tired, damn tired of being oversaturated by images of slim white girls against white walls wearing the same lingerie being everywhere I turn and i'm sodding one of them. I can't tell them all apart and I long ago gave up trying to befriend them or keep track of who is who. The community isn't the same for me anymore and it's entirely by my doing but i'd rather focus on giving something back to the people who have proven themselves to be there for me when I desperately needed them, than creating and maintaining what feels like hundreds of hollow, shallow friendships based on having one thing in common; lingerie and seemingly nothing else. Because nothing makes you feel more alone than being haunted by ghosts of friendships when you actually need something more tangible. And that's not to say i haven't created some lasting, amazing friendships and don't enjoy interacting with you all, I just can't keep up with the lingerie community as it is now in particular and I don't want to anymore.
I also work 9 hours a day, 5 hours a week whilst battling my depression and anxiety and maintaining a clean apartment, caring for a 3 month old puppy, spending time with my Beau, working out to stay strong, conducting astrophysics research into short period Novae in M31 and keeping myself alive. It's no more than others do with their time but it can be overwhelming for me and right now I have no motivation to answer my emails, take on the pressure of working with brands or push myself to stay relevant and in the loop. I don't want to half arse something i've put my all into for years, it's not fair to you guys and it's not fair to me. Being kind to myself is something I have to do right now, even if it goes against my nature and i'm in a place where being overwhelmed is like my second most used emotion.
I also have a review on TLBC that I haven't put together yet because my skin is in a state I haven't experienced for 5 years and it's showing no signs of improving but I do owe them that post and as much as i'd love to just disappear, that is going to come soon. It will come after this post is live just to appear terribly contradictory but I couldn't hold off on checking in with you all and telling you where i'm at any longer. Which is a shitty thing for me to do to all parties. I just can't see another way around it.
So this isn't necessarily 'goodbye', it's just 'see ya later' because there's every possibility this is just a passing phase and it passes soon but i'm also hyper aware that my last post was a while ago and I owe more explanation than just silence and the odd instagram post. The lingerie blogging community is a landscape that is continuously changing and shifting and I long ago lost track of where we're up to but if you're looking for new bloggers or lingerie information then I can only highly recommend the following for being a perfect place to start:
Write Me Bad Checks, Comics Girls Need Bras and The Lingerie Addict are flying the flag for diversity in a heavily white saturated niche of blogging so if you're looking for POC, LBGTQA+ bloggers (although there's obviously a hell of a lot more to their blogs than that and worth checking out anyway) then you can't go wrong starting your search here . A close friend of mine Thigh Highs and Glitter is flying the flag for both the large bust/small band crowd and anyone post partum. My favourites for the fuller figure or bra fit are Sweet Nothings NYC, Big Cup Little Cup and Fuller Figure Fuller Bust. And of course if you're looking for small busted bloggers then Morning Madonna and The Lingerista are your goldmines. Through these i'm sure you'll be able to find a whole host of bloggers to suit your needs and your interests and failing that, there's a database of all the lingerie bloggers (past and present?) to sink your teeth into.
So, so long and thanks for all the fish.
Of Lambs and Lace would've been nothing if it weren't for you and i'm sorry.
I'm also tired, damn tired of being oversaturated by images of slim white girls against white walls wearing the same lingerie being everywhere I turn and i'm sodding one of them. I can't tell them all apart and I long ago gave up trying to befriend them or keep track of who is who. The community isn't the same for me anymore and it's entirely by my doing but i'd rather focus on giving something back to the people who have proven themselves to be there for me when I desperately needed them, than creating and maintaining what feels like hundreds of hollow, shallow friendships based on having one thing in common; lingerie and seemingly nothing else. Because nothing makes you feel more alone than being haunted by ghosts of friendships when you actually need something more tangible. And that's not to say i haven't created some lasting, amazing friendships and don't enjoy interacting with you all, I just can't keep up with the lingerie community as it is now in particular and I don't want to anymore.
I also work 9 hours a day, 5 hours a week whilst battling my depression and anxiety and maintaining a clean apartment, caring for a 3 month old puppy, spending time with my Beau, working out to stay strong, conducting astrophysics research into short period Novae in M31 and keeping myself alive. It's no more than others do with their time but it can be overwhelming for me and right now I have no motivation to answer my emails, take on the pressure of working with brands or push myself to stay relevant and in the loop. I don't want to half arse something i've put my all into for years, it's not fair to you guys and it's not fair to me. Being kind to myself is something I have to do right now, even if it goes against my nature and i'm in a place where being overwhelmed is like my second most used emotion.
I also have a review on TLBC that I haven't put together yet because my skin is in a state I haven't experienced for 5 years and it's showing no signs of improving but I do owe them that post and as much as i'd love to just disappear, that is going to come soon. It will come after this post is live just to appear terribly contradictory but I couldn't hold off on checking in with you all and telling you where i'm at any longer. Which is a shitty thing for me to do to all parties. I just can't see another way around it.
So this isn't necessarily 'goodbye', it's just 'see ya later' because there's every possibility this is just a passing phase and it passes soon but i'm also hyper aware that my last post was a while ago and I owe more explanation than just silence and the odd instagram post. The lingerie blogging community is a landscape that is continuously changing and shifting and I long ago lost track of where we're up to but if you're looking for new bloggers or lingerie information then I can only highly recommend the following for being a perfect place to start:
Write Me Bad Checks, Comics Girls Need Bras and The Lingerie Addict are flying the flag for diversity in a heavily white saturated niche of blogging so if you're looking for POC, LBGTQA+ bloggers (although there's obviously a hell of a lot more to their blogs than that and worth checking out anyway) then you can't go wrong starting your search here . A close friend of mine Thigh Highs and Glitter is flying the flag for both the large bust/small band crowd and anyone post partum. My favourites for the fuller figure or bra fit are Sweet Nothings NYC, Big Cup Little Cup and Fuller Figure Fuller Bust. And of course if you're looking for small busted bloggers then Morning Madonna and The Lingerista are your goldmines. Through these i'm sure you'll be able to find a whole host of bloggers to suit your needs and your interests and failing that, there's a database of all the lingerie bloggers (past and present?) to sink your teeth into.
So, so long and thanks for all the fish.
Of Lambs and Lace would've been nothing if it weren't for you and i'm sorry.