The December the 27th marks the birthday of Of Lambs and Lace and now we are three. Unfortunately my home town was hit badly by the floods and i've spent the past three days either in a state of anxiety or shovelling mud and raw sewage out of people's houses and businesses. Hardly glamorous and completely contrary to the lavish values Of Lambs and Lace was originally founded upon.
I didn't mark the occasion of our second birthday together, it didn't feel necessary to reflect on the existence of Of Lambs and Lace in 2014 but this year has been a challenging one, tumultuous to say the least and i'm sure other lingerie bloggers have felt the shift in reader attitudes over these 12 months. I've done a lot of soul searching with regards to maintaining a brick and mortar lingerie blog as with the rise of instagrammers it seems that the value of a photo is now held higher than the written word accompanying a review or article. Many have joined the lingerie blogging community seemingly to flaunt their wealth and their bodies and as a result it has warped, accelerating in popularity and over saturating with strangers who at times can be less than kind to individuals they don't agree with. Having opinions that are anything less than positive in this new community are cause for public dragging and personal criticism. The lingerie blogging community has always been a divided place, with natural rifts forming between people who respectfully don't force faux friendships but aside from one odd altercation, it has never sunk to taking enjoyment out of the mockery of others. It is because of this that i have stepped back from the entire community. Aside from a handful of close friends, i no longer interact within the community in a personal capacity and it's changed the meaning behind this blog.
I founded Of Lambs and Lace from the idea of having a place to share my passion with lingerie and as a means to meet likeminded people. And recently i've had to battle with myself over how self indulgent i've felt my presence is when i had to detach my personality and emotions from something that was built on my marmite personality and emotions. I've oscillated from insistent my blog wouldn't suffer to resigned to retiring it once and for all for weeks. I've pushed through my anxieties only to be met with sources of more anxiety and it's driven my uncertainty. But i'm resolved to keep going, in part due to the overwhelming support i've received from readers both in the comments section and from personal emails sent to me. One reader wrote:
"I feel compelled to tell you that your blogging has really helped me like my body...reading your blog gives me hope"
"I feel compelled to tell you that your blogging has really helped me like my body...reading your blog gives me hope"
Sounds a bit like an extreme humble brag on my behalf but it reminded me that somewhere during these three years i shunned the self indulgence side of my blog, not wanting to flaunt my wealth and subsequent collection nor to be another privileged, slender white girl in world with too many visible privileged, slender white girls. I changed my doctrine to one that was about educating people on small busts, supporting indie brands and fighting against the unnecessary sexualisation of lingerie. I can do all of these things without putting myself out to be judged.
But i don't want to preach. I am never too far away to offer any advice or have a chat (although my new years resolution is to get better at replying to emails before i forget they were sent to me in the first place...my apologies if you've ever felt ignored by me. This year has been so busy in so many other respects too what with me getting my masters degree, being rocketed into the adult world, working many jobs, etc.) and my personality will still sneak into my blog posts, it's also all over my twitter (i'm sorry) but for now i'm focusing on my real friendships instead of trying to find shallow ones based on one faction of my interests online at the expense of my mental stability.
And just so this post feels useful to me, i'm going to take the time to thank the following people, brands and designers for supporting Of Lambs and Lace through their friendship or collaborations that helped me stay afloat during this teething period (in no particular order):
Vicky at the Lingeristas, Marionette Mew, Bubble Sarah, Becky Mount, Toots, Alls Fair in Love and Lingerie, Bras and Body Image, Lindsay of Well Aware, E of Thigh Highs and Glitter, Hannah of Daisies and DMs, Pamela Cooper, Sugar Lace Lingerie, Bluebella, Claudette, and many more people, especially every wonderful person who reads my posts, puts up with my long breaks and spurs me on.